Conservatives: VOTE FOR CHANGE
Personally I'll be backing the party that says: VOTE FOR £50's
If they're going to bribe me to vote, at least make it worth my while.
Lord Blagger
Wednesday 28 April 2010
Monday 26 April 2010
20 Pound Note
As announced on 8 March, the £20 banknote carrying the portrait of composer Sir Edward Elgar is to be finally withdrawn from circulation from 30 June this year - less than ten weeks away.
Quantitative easing is working
Next stop ...
QE at workLord Blagger
Tax Amnesty
Great idea from the Lib Dems.
Apparently all my illegal workers are going to get to go legal, and get a tax amnesty.
On the amnesty for illegal immigrants, he struggled big time on whether British citizens would be given the same tax amnesty that illegal immigrants would be granted, by dint of not having oaid tax during their 10 years in the country. He admitted they hadn't thought about it! Bearing in mind that Hughes largely wrote the LibDem immigration policy, he was surprisingly woolly. Bear in mind that the LibDems have said they would bring in another £4 billionby getting tough on tax evasion! You couldn't make it up.
HUGHES: I think that British citizens would be entitled to say that they should be treated evenly. People that have been here all the time.
Nolan: Would the Lib Dems give that guarantee?
HUGHES: It is not in our manifesto but you raise a good point and I think what you would have to do in that case is once people were legitimated and regulated, then if they had been working; part of the process should be working out what they should contribute. So I think that's a perfectly reasonable proposition.
http://iaindale.blogspot.com/2010/04/libdems-tax-amnesty-for-illegals-but.html
Blaggers should be interested in this. Tax amnesty for illegals, means a tax amnesty for all. For once, the human rights act would work in our favour.
Nice work Simon.
Lord Blagger
Apparently all my illegal workers are going to get to go legal, and get a tax amnesty.
On the amnesty for illegal immigrants, he struggled big time on whether British citizens would be given the same tax amnesty that illegal immigrants would be granted, by dint of not having oaid tax during their 10 years in the country. He admitted they hadn't thought about it! Bearing in mind that Hughes largely wrote the LibDem immigration policy, he was surprisingly woolly. Bear in mind that the LibDems have said they would bring in another £4 billionby getting tough on tax evasion! You couldn't make it up.
HUGHES: I think that British citizens would be entitled to say that they should be treated evenly. People that have been here all the time.
Nolan: Would the Lib Dems give that guarantee?
HUGHES: It is not in our manifesto but you raise a good point and I think what you would have to do in that case is once people were legitimated and regulated, then if they had been working; part of the process should be working out what they should contribute. So I think that's a perfectly reasonable proposition.
http://iaindale.blogspot.com/2010/04/libdems-tax-amnesty-for-illegals-but.html
Blaggers should be interested in this. Tax amnesty for illegals, means a tax amnesty for all. For once, the human rights act would work in our favour.
Nice work Simon.
Lord Blagger
Sunday 25 April 2010
Lord Oxburgh
There is a danger being roped into running a cover up. A fellow lord has got himself into trouble.
When the University of East Anglia decided to investigate itself, they could have chosen from a wide variety of scientific or legal figures. They decided on Lord Oxburgh, despite questions about his independence. As chairman of a windfarm manufacturer, could he really impartially decide on fundamental questions of the probity of climate science?
Would Lord Oxburgh have been appointed to his position as head of the panel investigating Climategate if it had been known that his employer was a subsidiary controlled by an Italian company enmeshed in scandals involving Sicilian waste? Let me hasten to add that I am not making any accusations of either Lord Oxburgh or Falck Renewables, the company he chairs. But was he really the best choice for this inquiry?
Examiner
The lesson to learn from this part, is that as a blagger, you want to keep it Lord Oxburgh has set himself up. Advice against this is a standard part of Lord Blagger's advice. Cheap at 10,000 pounds a day. It's just twice the sum a taxi driver makes in a day.
The second interesting part from the article is this
Lord Oxburgh is chairman of Falck Renewables, a builder of windfarms with six projects in operation or under construction in the UK alone. Falck Renewables is a subsidiary of Falck Group, a Milan based company that has built windfarms in Calabria and Sicily that have been part of an anti-Mafia investigation. Some of the windfarms, including one near Corleone, were completed quite some time ago, but haven't been connected to the grid. However, generous EU subsidies were forthcoming nonetheless.
A nice blag. Subsidy for building them, plus you can get a European price for the turbines, but get them built in China. It's the assembly that makes them European!
Then there is the EU subsidy blag. Get the subsidy for doing nothing. Just like the farmers. What's so good about the EU blag is that no country prosecutes, because its EU money not theirs any more. The EU won't prosecute because its like cutting off your nose to spite yourself. You don't want the public asking questions or the gravy train will end.
Italian and EU subsidies for the building of wind farms and the world’s highest guaranteed rates, €180 ($240, £160) per kwh, for the electricity they produce have turned southern Italy into a highly attractive market exploited by organised crime.
The UK price cab be around 6.5p a kwh.
That's why its such a great blag. You could even drive the turbines from the power supply to give the illusion of working. Then feed the power from the grid back to the grid
What's even better is that the mugs who pay the price, the public, are being forced by the greens to give Lord Blagger the cash!
Lord Blagger
When the University of East Anglia decided to investigate itself, they could have chosen from a wide variety of scientific or legal figures. They decided on Lord Oxburgh, despite questions about his independence. As chairman of a windfarm manufacturer, could he really impartially decide on fundamental questions of the probity of climate science?
Would Lord Oxburgh have been appointed to his position as head of the panel investigating Climategate if it had been known that his employer was a subsidiary controlled by an Italian company enmeshed in scandals involving Sicilian waste? Let me hasten to add that I am not making any accusations of either Lord Oxburgh or Falck Renewables, the company he chairs. But was he really the best choice for this inquiry?
Examiner
The lesson to learn from this part, is that as a blagger, you want to keep it Lord Oxburgh has set himself up. Advice against this is a standard part of Lord Blagger's advice. Cheap at 10,000 pounds a day. It's just twice the sum a taxi driver makes in a day.
The second interesting part from the article is this
Lord Oxburgh is chairman of Falck Renewables, a builder of windfarms with six projects in operation or under construction in the UK alone. Falck Renewables is a subsidiary of Falck Group, a Milan based company that has built windfarms in Calabria and Sicily that have been part of an anti-Mafia investigation. Some of the windfarms, including one near Corleone, were completed quite some time ago, but haven't been connected to the grid. However, generous EU subsidies were forthcoming nonetheless.
A nice blag. Subsidy for building them, plus you can get a European price for the turbines, but get them built in China. It's the assembly that makes them European!
Then there is the EU subsidy blag. Get the subsidy for doing nothing. Just like the farmers. What's so good about the EU blag is that no country prosecutes, because its EU money not theirs any more. The EU won't prosecute because its like cutting off your nose to spite yourself. You don't want the public asking questions or the gravy train will end.
Italian and EU subsidies for the building of wind farms and the world’s highest guaranteed rates, €180 ($240, £160) per kwh, for the electricity they produce have turned southern Italy into a highly attractive market exploited by organised crime.
The UK price cab be around 6.5p a kwh.
That's why its such a great blag. You could even drive the turbines from the power supply to give the illusion of working. Then feed the power from the grid back to the grid
What's even better is that the mugs who pay the price, the public, are being forced by the greens to give Lord Blagger the cash!
Lord Blagger
Friday 23 April 2010
General Election 2010: Nick Clegg admits �20,000 was paid into his account - Telegraph
General Election 2010: Nick Clegg admits �20,000 was paid into his account - Telegraph:
"Nick Clegg received almost �20,000 in donations from three lobbyists into his private bank account, he admitted last night."
Nice. Pity he got caught. For more advice on how to get away with it, sign up for one of Lord Blagger seminars on having your cake and eating it.
Lord Blagger
"Nick Clegg received almost �20,000 in donations from three lobbyists into his private bank account, he admitted last night."
Nice. Pity he got caught. For more advice on how to get away with it, sign up for one of Lord Blagger seminars on having your cake and eating it.
Lord Blagger
Update: Malware infects UK National Health Service systems - Computerworld
Update: Malware infects UK National Health Service systems - Computerworld:
"Computers belonging to the UK's National Health Service have been hit with data-stealing malware, although it doesn't appear patient information was stolen, according to security vendor Symantec."
That's why Lord Blagger insisted that his contract to supply software to the NHS has a little clause that made the NHS responsible for security.
After all, having looked at the specification, it was so full of holes, that only a looney would accept responsibility for security
Lord Blagger.
Rule 1. Cover your arse
"Computers belonging to the UK's National Health Service have been hit with data-stealing malware, although it doesn't appear patient information was stolen, according to security vendor Symantec."
That's why Lord Blagger insisted that his contract to supply software to the NHS has a little clause that made the NHS responsible for security.
After all, having looked at the specification, it was so full of holes, that only a looney would accept responsibility for security
Lord Blagger.
Rule 1. Cover your arse
Hero's of the Blag
Sir Percy Ware-Armitage
Never leave anything to chance. Nobble your opponents.
Lord Blagger would like to pay tribute to one of the best.
Thursday 22 April 2010
Alan Duncan
Apparently Conservative MP Alan Duncan was stuck in Turkey for a week due to the volcanic ash from Iceland. It's alright though, he's back at his second home now though.
2012 Olympic bill tops �9 billion
2012 Olympic bill tops �9 billion - Channel 4 News: "Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell tells MPs the budget for the 2012 is now �9.3 billion - nearly a fourfold increase on the original �2.4 billion"
That's nearly 7 billion of blagging. Pity the poor tax payer.
I hope you all filled your boots in the process.
For more ideas on how to blag similar sums, sign up for one of Lord Blaggers little road shows, "How to blag it at the public's expense" A snip at 50,000 pounds.
Lord Blagger
That's nearly 7 billion of blagging. Pity the poor tax payer.
I hope you all filled your boots in the process.
For more ideas on how to blag similar sums, sign up for one of Lord Blaggers little road shows, "How to blag it at the public's expense" A snip at 50,000 pounds.
Lord Blagger
MPs' expenses: Ian Austin tried to split the stamp duty on sunsets in Waterloo - Telegraph
MPs' expenses: Ian Austin tried to split the stamp duty on sunsets in Waterloo - Telegraph: "an Austin tried to split the stamp duty on sunsets in Waterloo"
Ian Austin
Ian Austin completed the purchase of the Waterloo flat on March 31 2006 but submitted claims for the stamp duty in two separate amounts: £6,770 on March 28 and £1,344 on April 3.
This allowed him to claim the majority of the money under his second home allowance for the financial year 2005-06. In total, he received £21,559 — £75 below the limit — that year.
His claim for the remaining £1,344 was turned down by the parliamentary fees office.
Quite why someone so stupid ends up as an MP. It's attempted fraud. There are far better ways of blagging it.
He should be prosecuted for giving blaggers a bad name
Lord Blagger
Ian AustinIan Austin completed the purchase of the Waterloo flat on March 31 2006 but submitted claims for the stamp duty in two separate amounts: £6,770 on March 28 and £1,344 on April 3.
This allowed him to claim the majority of the money under his second home allowance for the financial year 2005-06. In total, he received £21,559 — £75 below the limit — that year.
His claim for the remaining £1,344 was turned down by the parliamentary fees office.
Quite why someone so stupid ends up as an MP. It's attempted fraud. There are far better ways of blagging it.
He should be prosecuted for giving blaggers a bad name
Lord Blagger
Wednesday 21 April 2010
Peter Eigen: How to expose the corrupt | Video on TED.com
Peter Eigen: How to expose the corrupt | Video on TED.com
Awful. You are paying via your taxes to stop being able to cream money off the top, in order to pay the taxes in the first place.
Make poverty history, legalise corruption now!
Lord Blagger
Awful. You are paying via your taxes to stop being able to cream money off the top, in order to pay the taxes in the first place.
Make poverty history, legalise corruption now!
Lord Blagger
General Election 2010: Nick Clegg, the Lib Dem donors and payments into his private bank account - Telegraph
General Election 2010: Nick Clegg, the Lib Dem donors and payments into his private bank account - Telegraph
"General Election 2010: Nick Clegg, the Lib Dem donors and payments into his private bank account"
Acceptable?
Tut tut. Both donor and receiptant have a lot to learn.
A little adage from computing is that you can solve any problem by adding another layer of indirection.
So if you want to pay someone off, get someone else to do it for you. If you want to be paid off, get someone else to receive the money.
Hence the insistance from MPs that they can carry on employing their wives. It's a choice of another layer of indirection.
"General Election 2010: Nick Clegg, the Lib Dem donors and payments into his private bank account"
Acceptable?Tut tut. Both donor and receiptant have a lot to learn.
A little adage from computing is that you can solve any problem by adding another layer of indirection.
So if you want to pay someone off, get someone else to do it for you. If you want to be paid off, get someone else to receive the money.
Hence the insistance from MPs that they can carry on employing their wives. It's a choice of another layer of indirection.
MPs' Expenses: my only crime was to pay too much, says Gordon Brown - Telegraph
MPs' Expenses: my only crime was to pay too much, says Gordon Brown - Telegraph: "Gordon Brown has said that he needed a taxpayer-funded cleaner because he has two children and his wife was at work."
I think I'll put my application in tomorrow.
After all if its good for Prescot, good for Brown, its got to be good for me.
Lord Blagger
I think I'll put my application in tomorrow.
After all if its good for Prescot, good for Brown, its got to be good for me.
Lord Blagger
And the pork goes on: More Bloated BBC Expenses
Iain Dale's Diary: More Bloated BBC Expenses:
Roger Wright"
"Take Roger Wright, for instance. He's the controller of BBC Radio 3. Now that really must be a hugely challenging job. Mr Wright is on a salary of �200,000. Last year he claimed more than �7,000 in taxi fares, compared to only �4 for an underground ticket. In 2009 he claimed �3,561 for 11 nights in a top class London hotel (�323 a night) so he didn't have to go home after each night of the Proms. No doubt he then got a taxi from that top London hotel to his office each morning, and then from his office to the Albert Hall."
Roger Wright""Take Roger Wright, for instance. He's the controller of BBC Radio 3. Now that really must be a hugely challenging job. Mr Wright is on a salary of �200,000. Last year he claimed more than �7,000 in taxi fares, compared to only �4 for an underground ticket. In 2009 he claimed �3,561 for 11 nights in a top class London hotel (�323 a night) so he didn't have to go home after each night of the Proms. No doubt he then got a taxi from that top London hotel to his office each morning, and then from his office to the Albert Hall."
Monday 19 April 2010
Anthony Steen claims on expenses for London home - Telegraph
Anthony Steen claims on expenses for London home - Telegraph: "Anthony Steen, the Tory grandee who said anger over his expenses claims was due to 'jealousy' of his 'very, very large house', wisely decided not to brave the voters at this election. Before standing down, however, he found time to make a new expenses claim."
Last gasp. Get it in whilst it lasted.
Lord Blagger
Last gasp. Get it in whilst it lasted.
Lord Blagger
Donnygate scandal ends in jail terms
Donnygate scandal ends in jail terms | Society | The Guardian:
"Donnygate scandal ends in jail terms
'Rotten' bribes network exposed in court hearing"
The worst local government corruption case since the Poulson scandal of the 1970s ended yesterday with hefty jail terms for a senior Labour councillor and the property developer who bribed him.
The four-year sentence for Peter Birks, former chairman of planning in Doncaster finished the virtual elimination of the old, miner-dominated Labour party in the South Yorkshire town, which has already seen two former council leaders and two former mayors among 21 councillors convicted of fraud.
Most were found guilty of fiddling expenses, often for small sums but damned by a series of judges as part of a wholesale culture of corruption which engulfed the mid-90s administration. But yesterday's verdicts unravelled the much more far-reaching, "rotten network" created by Doncaster developer Alan Hughes, 63, who was given five years.
I can't see that there is anything illegal. If you make up a legal system on planning which stops people using their own assets as they see fit, then its creating the ideal blag. Councils will ask for bribes in the form of section 106 agreements.
All that has happened here is a bit of private enterprise to oil the wheels so to speak.
If its good for the government (s106) its good for the councilors
Lord Blagger
"Donnygate scandal ends in jail terms
'Rotten' bribes network exposed in court hearing"
The worst local government corruption case since the Poulson scandal of the 1970s ended yesterday with hefty jail terms for a senior Labour councillor and the property developer who bribed him.
The four-year sentence for Peter Birks, former chairman of planning in Doncaster finished the virtual elimination of the old, miner-dominated Labour party in the South Yorkshire town, which has already seen two former council leaders and two former mayors among 21 councillors convicted of fraud.
Most were found guilty of fiddling expenses, often for small sums but damned by a series of judges as part of a wholesale culture of corruption which engulfed the mid-90s administration. But yesterday's verdicts unravelled the much more far-reaching, "rotten network" created by Doncaster developer Alan Hughes, 63, who was given five years.
I can't see that there is anything illegal. If you make up a legal system on planning which stops people using their own assets as they see fit, then its creating the ideal blag. Councils will ask for bribes in the form of section 106 agreements.
All that has happened here is a bit of private enterprise to oil the wheels so to speak.
If its good for the government (s106) its good for the councilors
Lord Blagger
Sunday 18 April 2010
The gift that keeps on giving - Jule Kirkbride
MPs’ expenses: Julie Kirkbride puts taxpayer-funded flat up for rent - Telegraph: "After claiming more than �80,000 in the last four years for the Georgian mansion apartment near Redditch, Worcs, the former MP for Bromsgrove is now offering to rent it out for �925 a month. The figure is around �100 more than her monthly mortgage interest costs.
Miss Kirkbride and her husband, Andrew MacKay, both announced that they would stand down from Parliament after it emerged that they designated two separate houses as their “main property,” allowing them to claim second home expenses at different addresses."
It keeps on giving and giving. Miss Kirbride should give a big thank you to the plebs that are paying
It pays to keep the plebs sweet or they will turn sour.
Lord Blagger
Miss Kirkbride and her husband, Andrew MacKay, both announced that they would stand down from Parliament after it emerged that they designated two separate houses as their “main property,” allowing them to claim second home expenses at different addresses."
It keeps on giving and giving. Miss Kirbride should give a big thank you to the plebs that are paying
It pays to keep the plebs sweet or they will turn sour.
Lord Blagger
Volcano
EyjafjallajökullDear British Prime minister Gordon Brown
I'm very sorry for the misunderstanding between our countries earlier this week. We now know that when you said "We want the cash up front" you were referring to money but unfortunately there is no C in our alphabet. We hope this misunderstanding hasn't been to inconvenient for you and your good nation.
Sincerely
Johanna Sigurdardottir
Prime minister of Iceland.
BBC News - National Gallery to reveal its fakes in exhibition
BBC News - National Gallery to reveal its fakes in exhibition
Holbein?
Blags from past times
Lord Blagger was offered the painting but turned it down. He then pointed the seller, for a not inconsiderable fee, in the direction of the National Gallery. It's easy when you are spending other people's money. You don't care as much. After all, if it turns out to be a sexton, you just put on a show with other sextons.
Lord Blagger
Holbein?Blags from past times
Lord Blagger was offered the painting but turned it down. He then pointed the seller, for a not inconsiderable fee, in the direction of the National Gallery. It's easy when you are spending other people's money. You don't care as much. After all, if it turns out to be a sexton, you just put on a show with other sextons.
Lord Blagger
John Prescott's employee is paid hush money - Telegraph
John Prescott's employee is paid hush money - Telegraph
As John Prescott tours the country drumming up support for his fellow bruiser Gordon Brown, there is one woman with good reason to avoid his "battle bus".
Mandrake can disclose that one of the former deputy prime minister's employees has won a "substantial" sum in compensation after she complained about her treatment.
Janice Morphet reached an out-of-court settlement last month that will mean any allegations about the culture in the upper echelons of the Government will not be heard in public.
Mandrake understands that taxpayers will foot the bill of more than £50,000 for the deal, under which Mrs Morphet agreed never to speak about her time in Prescott's employ. The deal was agreed just days before she was due to appear at the London Central Employment tribunal in Holborn.
Nice Blagg Mr Prescott. Get the taxpayer to bail you out of your abuse of staff.
This is on top of your other blag.
Government gave Prescott's former home £3,000 deep clean
Taxpayers had to fork out £3,320 for John Prescott's grace-and-favour home to undergo a "deep clean" after he moved out, it emerged today.
As John Prescott tours the country drumming up support for his fellow bruiser Gordon Brown, there is one woman with good reason to avoid his "battle bus".
Mandrake can disclose that one of the former deputy prime minister's employees has won a "substantial" sum in compensation after she complained about her treatment.
Janice Morphet reached an out-of-court settlement last month that will mean any allegations about the culture in the upper echelons of the Government will not be heard in public.
Mandrake understands that taxpayers will foot the bill of more than £50,000 for the deal, under which Mrs Morphet agreed never to speak about her time in Prescott's employ. The deal was agreed just days before she was due to appear at the London Central Employment tribunal in Holborn.
Nice Blagg Mr Prescott. Get the taxpayer to bail you out of your abuse of staff.
This is on top of your other blag.
Government gave Prescott's former home £3,000 deep clean
Taxpayers had to fork out £3,320 for John Prescott's grace-and-favour home to undergo a "deep clean" after he moved out, it emerged today.
Saturday 17 April 2010
Broadest Shoulders
Brown's slogan that the burden of his fuck ups should fall on those with the boardest shoulders is a bit like claiming that we should only jail agrophobics because they are best placed to cope with incarceration
Thursday 15 April 2010
Leaders Debate
Pity the poor buggers having to listen to it.
3 people, all blaggers with records, telling them over 90 minutes how they are going to spend your money
Lord Blagger.
3 people, all blaggers with records, telling them over 90 minutes how they are going to spend your money
Lord Blagger.
Tuesday 13 April 2010
Porker of the Day - David Cameron
David CameronCameron pays back almost �1,000 in wrongly claimed expenses | News: "David Cameron today paid back �947 in excessive expenses claims as the row over Commons allowances reignited.
The Conservative leader sent a cheque to the Commons to cover over claims including �218.91 in mortgage payments.
He admitted that he inadvertently failed to reduce his claim for taxpayer support even he moved off a fixed interest loan to lower variable rates.
Other blunders included �10 charged in error for a researcher's phone bill and �9 overpaid for a home power bill.
The cheque also included �680 that he promised to repay last month for removing wisteria and other works to his house."
Wisteria? Who the fuck claims for wisteria? What a dummy putting in a bill for that.
Lord Blagger
Perpetual motion machine prints cash
- Bishop Hill blog - It's�true!: "After press reports, it was established during inspections that several solar power plants were generating current and feeding it into the net at night. To simulate a larger installation capacity, the operators connected diesel generators.
'This is just the tip of the iceberg,' said one industry expert to the newspaper 'El Mundo', which brought the scandal to light. If solar systems apparently produce current in the dark, will be noticed sooner or later. However, if electricity generators were connected during daytime, the swindle would hardly be noticed."
What a blag!! Almost as good as some of the more audacious expenses claims by my coleagues.
The idea of a perpetual motion machine printing cash.
Generate electricity from arc lights on photo cells and get cash!
Lord Blagger takes his hat!
'This is just the tip of the iceberg,' said one industry expert to the newspaper 'El Mundo', which brought the scandal to light. If solar systems apparently produce current in the dark, will be noticed sooner or later. However, if electricity generators were connected during daytime, the swindle would hardly be noticed."
What a blag!! Almost as good as some of the more audacious expenses claims by my coleagues.
The idea of a perpetual motion machine printing cash.
Generate electricity from arc lights on photo cells and get cash!
Lord Blagger takes his hat!
Monday 12 April 2010
Youth Parliament teens blow thousands of pounds of taxpayers’ money | The Sun |News
Youth Parliament teens blow thousands of pounds of taxpayers’ money | The Sun |News: "TEENAGERS serving on a Youth Parliament have blown thousands of pounds of taxpayers' money on parties, pizzas and chauffeur-driven cars for themselves.
The snouts-in-the-trough scandal, which mirrors the greedy behaviour of real MPs, was revealed by a 17-year-old whistleblower.
Lydia Ellis spoke out after being sickened by the way fellow youth MPs were squandering their �45,000-a-year grant.
The money is supposed to be spent on projects to improve life for youngsters in Surrey, with special emphasis on deprived areas.
But student Lydia revealed the Surrey Youth Parliament last year blew �15,000 on a party for themselves and members of other youth councils.
The bash at Epsom Racecourse included free coach travel, food and drink, plus 200 'goodie bags' stuffed with gadgets bearing the Youth Parliament's branding.
Lydia said the parliament's 20 members - aged 13 to 18 - splash out on chauffeur-driven cars to take them to and from their meetings every six weeks at council offices in Kingston."
Spot on. Start them early and some will go on to be the next generation of Blaggers. Looks like the speaker has been teaching them well
Lord Blagger
The snouts-in-the-trough scandal, which mirrors the greedy behaviour of real MPs, was revealed by a 17-year-old whistleblower.
Lydia Ellis spoke out after being sickened by the way fellow youth MPs were squandering their �45,000-a-year grant.
The money is supposed to be spent on projects to improve life for youngsters in Surrey, with special emphasis on deprived areas.
But student Lydia revealed the Surrey Youth Parliament last year blew �15,000 on a party for themselves and members of other youth councils.
The bash at Epsom Racecourse included free coach travel, food and drink, plus 200 'goodie bags' stuffed with gadgets bearing the Youth Parliament's branding.
Lydia said the parliament's 20 members - aged 13 to 18 - splash out on chauffeur-driven cars to take them to and from their meetings every six weeks at council offices in Kingston."
Spot on. Start them early and some will go on to be the next generation of Blaggers. Looks like the speaker has been teaching them well
Lord Blagger
YouTube - Legal aid for New Labour expenses piggy MPs (12Apr10)
Not only blag money from the public, but they have blagged their defence costs. Not only that when the plebs send them done, the plebs are going to pay to imprison them.
Stupid plebs. It's costing them money. They should have just paid up to enable the MPs to get away with it. It would have been cheaper.
Lord Blagger
Sunday 11 April 2010
UKIP
Sod the lot
Campaigns like this should be banned. We don't want to give the electorate the chance of getting rid of our supporters in the Commons. All for one, one for all, and lots of cash to boot.
Lord Blagger
Conservatives hold party for peer prosecuted over his expenses claims - Telegraph
Lord HanningfieldConservatives hold party for peer prosecuted over his expenses claims - Telegraph: "The only Conservative politician being prosecuted over his expenses claims, Lord Hanningfield, has brought great shame on his party.
Unbelievably, however, Tory officials on Essex County Council are holding a lavish party in his honour on Sunday afternoon."
Bad idea. A party for those that are stupid enough to be caught. Not a good thing. They should have kept it quite because it makes it difficult for the rest of us to carry on as normal.
However, they can always try the defense, you can't find a jury that isn't made up of my victims.
Alternatively in his case, a jury of his peers. They are on the take or have looked the other way, take your pick. An acquital is more likely
Lord Blagger
Saturday 10 April 2010
BBC News - Organs 'removed for transplant without consent'
BBC News - Organs 'removed for transplant without consent': "Organs may have been removed from deceased people without their consent after a data-handling error by the NHS."
Now they are going beyond blagging cash and are blagging body parts from the dead.
Ideal blag. Kidneys on the black market are expensive, plus you have to fly to India, or go to China to get one from an ex-con. Plus the dead don't sue.
Perhaps we should put all MPs on the register and take the hung parliament literally. Blaggers who get caught expose the whole game.
Lord Blagger
Now they are going beyond blagging cash and are blagging body parts from the dead.
Ideal blag. Kidneys on the black market are expensive, plus you have to fly to India, or go to China to get one from an ex-con. Plus the dead don't sue.
Perhaps we should put all MPs on the register and take the hung parliament literally. Blaggers who get caught expose the whole game.
Lord Blagger
Married Tax Allowances
Don't you just love it? The countries finances are going to pot, and blaggers everywhere are clearing up at your expense. What are the MPs discussing? Can they afford 3 quid a week for married couples where one doesn't work.
All a nice distraction from their blagging.
Lord Blagger
All a nice distraction from their blagging.
Lord Blagger
General Election 2010: Jacqui Smith says she was 'scapegoat' over MPs' expenses - Telegraph
General Election 2010: Jacqui Smith says she was 'scapegoat' over MPs' expenses - Telegraph: "The former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has claimed that she was “made a scapegoat” over the MPs’ expenses scandal."
Stop winging darling. You failed to make the grade as a blagger. Accept it.
Lord Blagger
Stop winging darling. You failed to make the grade as a blagger. Accept it.
Lord Blagger
Office manager who stole �500,000 'ordered to repay �1 compensation' - Telegraph
Office manager who stole 500,000 'ordered to repay 1 compensation' - Telegraph: "A company director defrauded by Tessa Phillips, his office manager, of 500,000 was awarded just 1 compensation because all the money had been spent, a court heard."
If only all blags were as rewarding
Lord Blagger
If only all blags were as rewarding
Lord Blagger
Millions spent on 5-a-day mantra but now we're eating even LESS vegetables | Mail Online
Millions spent on 5-a-day mantra but now we're eating even LESS vegetables | Mail Online: "Millions spent on 5-a-day mantra but now we're eating even LESS vegetables"
They don't know what they are talking about. Lord Blagger has made a small fortune on the 5 a day campaign. It's money for nothing, courtesy of the government.
I don't understand why people who complain about being poor, don't get on the gravy train like I have. All you need is a mad cap idea like 5 a day. Then lobby a minister (I can help you there for a fee), and get the government to shovel cash down your gullet.
Lord Blagger
They don't know what they are talking about. Lord Blagger has made a small fortune on the 5 a day campaign. It's money for nothing, courtesy of the government.
I don't understand why people who complain about being poor, don't get on the gravy train like I have. All you need is a mad cap idea like 5 a day. Then lobby a minister (I can help you there for a fee), and get the government to shovel cash down your gullet.
Lord Blagger
foi_allowances_k.pdf (application/pdf Object)
foi_allowances_k.pdf (application/pdf Object)
A document on the expenses going back to 1984. The MPs have been troughing for a long time.
In particular lots of details on how the MPs arranged themselves a little tax haven. Exemption from Income Tax on their fiddles.
What a nice blag.
1. Not only get lots of expenses without scrutiny.
2. Sneak the changes into a bill at the second reading.
3. Exempt your fiddle from taxation and hence scrutiny by the little people at the Inland Revenue.
The problem was getting caught.
8/10 for the attempt. 2/10 for the execution
Lord Blagger
A document on the expenses going back to 1984. The MPs have been troughing for a long time.
In particular lots of details on how the MPs arranged themselves a little tax haven. Exemption from Income Tax on their fiddles.
What a nice blag.
1. Not only get lots of expenses without scrutiny.
2. Sneak the changes into a bill at the second reading.
3. Exempt your fiddle from taxation and hence scrutiny by the little people at the Inland Revenue.
The problem was getting caught.
8/10 for the attempt. 2/10 for the execution
Lord Blagger
Revealed: Labour lords change laws for cash - Times Online
Lord Trustcot before being caughtRevealed: Labour lords change laws for cash - Times Online: "Lord Truscott, the former energy minister, said he had helped to ensure the Energy Bill was favourable to a client selling “smart” electricity meters."
Along with others, the cost was 120K a year. A nice blag. The mistake was to do it on film and not check out with Lord Blagger's reference checking service (5K a pop) that it wasn't a con trying to stop Lords making a buck. What's 5K in the context of 120K a year?
Lord Blagger
Friday 9 April 2010
The deficit
It's interesting looking at the discussions about the deficit.
First is the spin that deficit means debt. Even the BBC have been peddling this.
Second is the debt figure. Left off the list is PFI, state pension, state second pension, civil service pensions, bank bailout, nuclear decommissioning, outstanding invoices, ... The total figure is huge, and dwarfs the gilt debt. All Enron accounting. Just what a blagger needs to make money.
Then take the "halve the deficit in four years" statement. Halving the deficit means 170 / 2 = 85 billion a year. However, the debts gone up in the mean time. 5% interest rates (optimistic) over 20 years means 50 billion on debt repayments. Total tax increases and spending cuts is 135 billion.
So where is this going to come from? First is spending cuts. However, don't forget inflation. Second is tax rises. However, the spin is growth. The missing word is growth in taxation. It's the only way the government gets the cash.
So will it work? Lets say the 'investment' gets a million back to work. 13K a year in benefits (tax free - nice blag). 1 million times 13K is 13 billion. So that 122 billion to come from taxes. Can those returning to work make up the difference? 122 billion divided by a million is 122,000 a year in taxes. Call it 300K a year in salary.
How many of the unemployed are going to earn 300K a year?
So who else could we tax? 122 billionaires, take everything. However, we still have to find another set the next year.
ie. It doesn't work. Period. With financial geniuses in the government who are arguing about peanuts whilst there is this massive hole shows huge incompentence.
That's why blagging the government is so easy, and so rewarding.
Lord Blagger
First is the spin that deficit means debt. Even the BBC have been peddling this.
Second is the debt figure. Left off the list is PFI, state pension, state second pension, civil service pensions, bank bailout, nuclear decommissioning, outstanding invoices, ... The total figure is huge, and dwarfs the gilt debt. All Enron accounting. Just what a blagger needs to make money.
Then take the "halve the deficit in four years" statement. Halving the deficit means 170 / 2 = 85 billion a year. However, the debts gone up in the mean time. 5% interest rates (optimistic) over 20 years means 50 billion on debt repayments. Total tax increases and spending cuts is 135 billion.
So where is this going to come from? First is spending cuts. However, don't forget inflation. Second is tax rises. However, the spin is growth. The missing word is growth in taxation. It's the only way the government gets the cash.
So will it work? Lets say the 'investment' gets a million back to work. 13K a year in benefits (tax free - nice blag). 1 million times 13K is 13 billion. So that 122 billion to come from taxes. Can those returning to work make up the difference? 122 billion divided by a million is 122,000 a year in taxes. Call it 300K a year in salary.
How many of the unemployed are going to earn 300K a year?
So who else could we tax? 122 billionaires, take everything. However, we still have to find another set the next year.
ie. It doesn't work. Period. With financial geniuses in the government who are arguing about peanuts whilst there is this massive hole shows huge incompentence.
That's why blagging the government is so easy, and so rewarding.
Lord Blagger
Trougher of the Day - David Cameron
CameronDavid Cameron to repay wrongly claimed expenses | Politics | guardian.co.uk: "David Cameron today chose to bring his own expenses under the spotlight as he sent a cheque to the Commons fees office after 'carefully' going through his receipts and realising he had overclaimed to the tune of 947.29.
The Tory leader volunteered the repayment after identifying a series of claims that should not have been made, including 218 on his mortgage interest in 2006.
This is on top of 680 he had already said he would repay for repairs at his second home, in Oxfordshire, were revealed by the Telegraph last month.
The claims included the cost of clearing wisteria and vines from the chimney, replacing outside lights and resealing the conservatory roof."
Goes all the way to the top. If they are all at it, they all can't be prosecuted, can they?
Safety in numbers, just like most prey animals.
Lord Blagger
Wednesday 7 April 2010
Blagger of the Day - Gordon Brown
Over claims 12,500 pounds
Gordon Brown is to repay more than £12,000 in expenses after an independent inquiry found he had made excessive claims for cleaning, gardening and decorating.
Expenses
What's even more wrong, is that he's had an interest free loan for many years. If he was charged at the same rate as the DWP says pensioners earn on their cash, he's saved 3,500 pounds at your expenses. Work for anyone else and an interest free loan is a taxable benefit. Nice blagging Gordon!
Lord Blagger.
Monday 5 April 2010
Airline passenger conversations to be monitored under EU project - Telegraph
Airline passenger conversations to be monitored under EU project - Telegraph
"Airline passengers could have their conversations and movements monitored under a European Union project aimed at tackling terrorism."
Lord Blagger would ask all of you to contact your MPs and ask them to support this. Not because it would work, but because he stands to make a lot of cash out of this.
First there is the hardware. He has to declare a finacial interest there.
Second there is the staff - lots of them. They need to do the listening. Now, because travellers come from lots of countries, most will be imported into the UK. In particular we will need lots of arabic speakers. Then we will need the people to monitor those people, since some of the monitors might be terrorists infiltrating the system.
There is oodles of cash to be made, so get calling
Lord Blagger
PS. There won't be any microphones on Lord Blagger's private jet
"Airline passengers could have their conversations and movements monitored under a European Union project aimed at tackling terrorism."
Lord Blagger would ask all of you to contact your MPs and ask them to support this. Not because it would work, but because he stands to make a lot of cash out of this.
First there is the hardware. He has to declare a finacial interest there.
Second there is the staff - lots of them. They need to do the listening. Now, because travellers come from lots of countries, most will be imported into the UK. In particular we will need lots of arabic speakers. Then we will need the people to monitor those people, since some of the monitors might be terrorists infiltrating the system.
There is oodles of cash to be made, so get calling
Lord Blagger
PS. There won't be any microphones on Lord Blagger's private jet
Sunday 4 April 2010
John Redwood - Conservative Party Candidate for Wokingham
John Redwood - Conservative Party Candidate for Wokingham
"Mr Farage is himself standing against the independent Speaker, himself a former Conservative Eurosceptic. This is against the convention of the UK democracy Mr Farage sometimes claims to hold dear."
Quite right John. We can't have a blagger like the speaker kicked out by the electorate. Imagine, allowing the plebs a choice that results is a prime porker like the speaker losing their job.
The consequences are truely awful. He will be kicked over to the Lords and we would have to deal the little Napolean.
Lord Blagger
"Mr Farage is himself standing against the independent Speaker, himself a former Conservative Eurosceptic. This is against the convention of the UK democracy Mr Farage sometimes claims to hold dear."
Quite right John. We can't have a blagger like the speaker kicked out by the electorate. Imagine, allowing the plebs a choice that results is a prime porker like the speaker losing their job.
The consequences are truely awful. He will be kicked over to the Lords and we would have to deal the little Napolean.
Lord Blagger
Q: When is a fire chief not a fire chief? A: When he wants a �380,000 payout - Telegraph
Q: When is a fire chief not a fire chief? A: When he wants a �380,000 payout - Telegraph: "Paul Hayden will be allowed to retire on a full pension aged 50 from Hereford and Worcester Fire and Rescue Service after he persuaded his local fire authority that for retirement purposes he is not its chief fire officer, but a 'brigade manager'.
This means he can avoid rules to be introduced this week by HM Revenue and Customs to stop desk-bound staff, including chief fire officers, benefiting from generous terms intended to help the rank-and-file. Working firemen, like police officers, are entitled to leave at 50 because of the physical strains of the job."
A nice blag. Clear example of manipulating the rules to your advantge. Congratulations to all those involved.
Lord Blagger
Disgraced and retiring MPs get �153m in payoffs - Times Online
Disgraced and retiring MPs get 153m in payoffs - Times Online
"DISGRACED and retiring MPs are to net 153m in payoffs and pensions as they step down at the general election.
Andrew MacKay, the Conservative MP for Bracknell who became notorious in the expenses scandal, will collect the largest package, worth a total of more than 1.8m.
On average, the 148 MPs who have announced that they will quit the Commons are in line to collect more than 1m each, according to an analysis for The Sunday Times.
Details of the pensions and payoffs follow reports this weekend that a further 20 Labour MPs are to step down within the next few days."
Off the gravy train. That means when it comes to Lord Blagger hiring new lobbyists, he's going to have the pick of the crop. Then for the other's its just a case of drip drip drip to the press with more of the dirt, and their effectiveness drops away.
My advice to those wanting to blag some more, sign up with Lord Blagger. You know its in your own self interest.
Lord Blagger
"DISGRACED and retiring MPs are to net 153m in payoffs and pensions as they step down at the general election.
Andrew MacKay, the Conservative MP for Bracknell who became notorious in the expenses scandal, will collect the largest package, worth a total of more than 1.8m.
On average, the 148 MPs who have announced that they will quit the Commons are in line to collect more than 1m each, according to an analysis for The Sunday Times.
Details of the pensions and payoffs follow reports this weekend that a further 20 Labour MPs are to step down within the next few days."
Off the gravy train. That means when it comes to Lord Blagger hiring new lobbyists, he's going to have the pick of the crop. Then for the other's its just a case of drip drip drip to the press with more of the dirt, and their effectiveness drops away.
My advice to those wanting to blag some more, sign up with Lord Blagger. You know its in your own self interest.
Lord Blagger
Expenses-row MP Derek Conway in line for �1m profit on taxpayer-funded flat | Mail Online
Expenses-row MP Derek Conway in line for 1m profit on taxpayer-funded flat | Mail Online:
"The MP who kicked off the Commons expenses scandal is set to make a profit of more than 1million from selling his London home part-funded by the taxpayer.
Ex-Tory Derek Conway, who is quitting as an MP after overpaying his sons as Commons researchers, is trying to sell his three-bedroom apartment for 1.4million."
He's bound to drive a Jaaaggg too
Lord Blagger
"The MP who kicked off the Commons expenses scandal is set to make a profit of more than 1million from selling his London home part-funded by the taxpayer.
Ex-Tory Derek Conway, who is quitting as an MP after overpaying his sons as Commons researchers, is trying to sell his three-bedroom apartment for 1.4million."
He's bound to drive a Jaaaggg too
Lord Blagger
Saturday 3 April 2010
MPs' expenses: Peers' watchdog filed overseas hotel bill - Telegraph
MPs' expenses: Peers' watchdog filed overseas hotel bill - Telegraph:
"The House of Lords official who oversees its discredited allowances regime, Michael Pownall, has claimed expenses for luxury hotels and tailoring."
Awful. Imaging going after my mate Pownall. After he was the one who has saved all those fellow peers from a trip to the crown court by coming up with that little weaze on second homes, and then keeping the report secret.
What's wrong with a little blagging as a reward?
Lord Blagger
"The House of Lords official who oversees its discredited allowances regime, Michael Pownall, has claimed expenses for luxury hotels and tailoring."
Awful. Imaging going after my mate Pownall. After he was the one who has saved all those fellow peers from a trip to the crown court by coming up with that little weaze on second homes, and then keeping the report secret.
What's wrong with a little blagging as a reward?
Lord Blagger
The Daily Mash - MPs CLAIM EXPENSES FOR GETTING CAUGHT AT BEING WHORES
The Daily Mash - MPs CLAIM EXPENSES FOR GETTING CAUGHT AT BEING WHORES:
"FOUR Labour MPs have claimed expenses for getting caught offering to peddle their influence to the highest bidder like common whores.
People are willing to pay Geoff Hoon to do stuff
Stephen Byers, Patricia Hewitt, Geoff Hoon and Margaret Moran have all submitted claims for around 3000 pounds each, covering the cost of answering the phone to journalists and a new wide screen television so they can watch themselves getting caught, as well as the customary selection of luxurious bath products and emergency double glazing."
Great idea. I'll have to tell my other clients about the concept.
Lord Blagger
"FOUR Labour MPs have claimed expenses for getting caught offering to peddle their influence to the highest bidder like common whores.
People are willing to pay Geoff Hoon to do stuff
Stephen Byers, Patricia Hewitt, Geoff Hoon and Margaret Moran have all submitted claims for around 3000 pounds each, covering the cost of answering the phone to journalists and a new wide screen television so they can watch themselves getting caught, as well as the customary selection of luxurious bath products and emergency double glazing."
Great idea. I'll have to tell my other clients about the concept.
Lord Blagger
Friday 2 April 2010
French minister used private jet to fly to conference in Martinique - Telegraph
French minister used private jet to fly to conference in Martinique - Telegraph
"Francois Fillon, the French prime minister, has banned ministers from using private jets after a Cabinet member rented one to fly to a conference in Martinique."
Shades of Blair Force One
A pointer for Blaggers everywhere. Don't get caught.
Lord Blagger
"Francois Fillon, the French prime minister, has banned ministers from using private jets after a Cabinet member rented one to fly to a conference in Martinique."
Shades of Blair Force One
A pointer for Blaggers everywhere. Don't get caught.
Lord Blagger
BBC News - Robinson denies land wrongdoing
Robinson denies land wrongdoing:
"The First Minister has denied that he did anything wrong when he bought a piece of land next to his family home from a developer for 5 pounds"
Nice Blagg!
Takes one to know one.
Lord Blagger
"The First Minister has denied that he did anything wrong when he bought a piece of land next to his family home from a developer for 5 pounds"
Nice Blagg!
Takes one to know one.
Lord Blagger
Digital Rights Bill
BBC News - Protests grow over digital bill: "The Digital Economy bill has sparked a wave of protest among consumers and rights groups."
Lord Blagger urges ever fellow blagger to get in contact with their MP over the Digital Rights Bill. Lord Blagger knows that its a great idea. Why shouldn't I be able to demand money with menaces, cut off people's internet access (they are plebs anyway)? It's all part of the government strategy to deal with legal problems anyway. If passed I wouldn't have to prove anything, the person I think is downloading has to prove it all. It's going to be hard with no internet access.
So get in contact with your MP and get them to support this bill. It's money for nothing for blaggers.
Lord Blagger
Lord Blagger urges ever fellow blagger to get in contact with their MP over the Digital Rights Bill. Lord Blagger knows that its a great idea. Why shouldn't I be able to demand money with menaces, cut off people's internet access (they are plebs anyway)? It's all part of the government strategy to deal with legal problems anyway. If passed I wouldn't have to prove anything, the person I think is downloading has to prove it all. It's going to be hard with no internet access.
So get in contact with your MP and get them to support this bill. It's money for nothing for blaggers.
Lord Blagger
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